Not “Woo.” Concrete. Resourceful.
An acquaintance recently criticized my practice as being too "woo" (for those of you who aren’t familiar with the term, here is the Urban Dictionary’s definition: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=woo-woo_). I would like to publish my response to him here for a couple reasons.
For one, to me, “woo” implies that there is some sort of grasping for healing, recovery, positive energy, etc. in the ethers. A few of my clients have articulated to me that they’re afraid sessions with me might feel like this—like reaching for something too nebulous to be actionable and satisfying: an empty-handed striving. They have articulated something like (I’m going to do my best to catch the spirit of their concerns here) “I know that working out and eating well helps my body. I know seeing a couple’s therapist helps couples. These things have all been tried and true. But they aren’t cutting it for me. So my options seem less tried and true, and that’s scary.” However, after meeting with me, these clients have expressed how our sessions helped them feel grounded and committed to personalized plans with concrete goals. There is no “grasping at the ethers” here; I prioritize practicality.
Secondly, when this acquaintance used the word “woo,” it was clear they intended it to mean “cringe” or “shameful”—as if I was congratulating myself on something that was bullcrap and should be embarrassed by it. This made me furious. Not because I’m defensive of my practice, but because I know how deeply my clientele already tends to feel shame and embarrassment (unfortunately, it’s something most people struggle with when talking about sex and intimacy). Disqualifying-through-shame somebody’s best option for finding relational fulfillment is a very isolating and demobilizing thing to do. Stepping out of the bounds of traditional treatment when it isn’t right for you is resourceful and brave. There is no shame in that.
Here was my response:
“If you were locked in a tower for 3 years and weren't touched once during that time, what would you be willing to do for a hug? My clients are experiencing something similar with covid and have decided that a couple hundred bucks is worth it. This seems like a reasonable transaction to me. There's nothing woo about it. It's simple: oxytocin is good for people.
Or, I have a client who recently was r*ped and, as a result, unable to hug his friends without having a panic attack. After seeing me, he can now hug them comfortably. What would you be willing to give for a treatment like this?
I’m curious if you know of any therapeutic services you *don’t* consider woo. Basic in-person CBT and whatnot? What if you factor in health insurance complications, stigma, financial restriction, executive dysfunction–all of the things that make traditional therapy inaccessible? Alternative therapy practices are needed. Would you pay a massage therapist? What makes that “nonwoo” compared to cuddle therapy?”
They had no answers.